Its Never a Bad Weekend When ...

Friday night my son and I went shopping at WallyWorld. Some things its difficult to do without especially if one wants to not be offensive, i.e., smell well. Whilst we we there we also picked up a new DVD player. The Magnavox bit the dust after about a year of use. Maybe this Sony will do better. We also picked up a three pack of Chuck Norris Movies for five bucks. Zowie, its never a bad weekend when you get to watch three Chuck Norris movies.

And now, some Chuck Norris Facts (as if you didn't already know them):

• Guns don't kill people. Chuck Norris kills People.


• There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live.


• Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.


• When Chuck Norris gives you the finger, he's telling you how many seconds you have left to live.


• The chief export of Chuck Norris is Pain.


• There is no chin under Chuck Norris' Beard. There is only another fist.


• Chuck Norris has two speeds. Walk, and Kill.


• The leading causes of death in the United States are: 1. Heart Disease 2. Chuck Norris 3. Cancer


• Chuck Norris once punched a man in the soul.


• When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.


• Once a cobra bit Chuck Norris' leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.


• Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.


• If you spell Chuck Norris wrong on Google it doesn't say, "Did you mean Chuck Norris?" It simply replies, "Run while you still have the chance."